“Don’t get him excited. You’ll make him pee,” was a common phrase heard at my house. No, this statement did not refer to my father, but rather to our very large, very excitable dog. If a member of our family had been gone for a long while, gone for a short while, or simply smiled in his general direction, our lovable Lupi would not be able to control his excitement or his bladder. He would pee, only a little bit, where he stood.
Now I am the dog in this scenario. Not because I like to lick people’s faces (well maybe just a couple of people’s) but because I pee, only a little bit, when I get excited.
I haven’t started clipping coupons for boxes of Depends yet, but this is getting a little embarrassing. I mean, how much longer is this leftover pregnant tick going to last? I thought once the baby stopped pushing on my bladder, my bladder would remember herself and go back to normal. But, I am surprised to find that at 6 months out, along with my wedding ring not fitting and my mid-section remaining soft and pliable, there are still things left over from being a preggo. Do I ever stop being a woman that was pregnant?
Luckily, thus far my husband doesn’t need to give me a wide birth and a towel when telling me his latest joke, and I don’t need to run to the bathroom whenever I see a running faucet. It only seems to happen when my bladder is full to capacity—or my husband comes up with a real zinger. Then, no amount of leg crossing, dancing, or tensing can stop the flow.
So, I guess there’s one good thing to come out of this besides investing in more underwear (oh, yeah--and THE BABY): My husband has a true measure of how funny he really is—by how much I pee where I’m standing.